A Conversation with Suzanne Raja - The Transcript

Anna: Well for our listeners who missed it. Cause it was copyrighted. We began the episode dancing, which is very appropriate for Suzanne the goddess. 

Suzanne: Hello? Hello. Hello. 

Anna: Thank you for coming!

Suzanne:My pleasure. My pleasure. Thank you for asking. 

Kristina: It's so amazing to be in your presence again. Just forget how much I needed that.

Like sacred, feminine pillar,  

Anna: and inject that all over the world. Oh my gosh. 

Suzanne: Oh, so good. If I smoked I would have a cigarette, right?

Kristina: Yeah, I feel that,

Suzanne: I feel that we just had that we just had the best party with our clothes on

Kristina: It's so true. It's amazing to me. How, like, when, you know, when I came out to visit you you can believe that's almost two years ago now. I can't even believe that. It was just crazy. And we went dancing and just like how amazing it felt and how much I just forgot how, what I forgot about being in my body.

I feel like that's the thing, right? Like I'm, I can easily always jump into my head and try and fix something or figure it out or do whatever, but you're always the your facilitation of actually getting me back into my body just feels like I'm actually alive again. 

Suzanne: Yes. Great. Hallelujah.

I used to say, just shut up and dance. And I meant shut up to my brain, you know, in the gentlest way. Just stop for a second. Just stop. Let's just sit while I dance, because my mind doesn't have rhythm, you know? And so when I move, my, my mind gets to just sit and relax for awhile. So we often need that.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Linda, that let's settle into that.

Anna: We do that a lot with my kids. And I'm thinking how therapeutic that is and that I should make that so much more a priority. We have a room, we call it the dance party room and we just put on the dance music. Well, it's just a, it gets an additional living room for what I don't know, but we just dance in there and we do anything we want and it's, and they're just completely free with it.

And it's so fun. Yeah. 

Suzanne: Yeah. Yeah. Ah, you've just got a permit. Smile on your face. I love it.

Anna: yeah. Well, I feel like we have all of these questions that we want you to answer for our listeners and yet just being in your presence, I just want to sit here and gaze at you.

Kristina: really interesting podcast in that case. You're not going to come 

Anna: fuck the questions. We're just going to Vass.

bask in the heavenly divine feminine. 

Suzanne: Yeah. You know, we need it. Don't we just, we need time to bask. That is the thing. It's time to luxuriate Basque. So yeah. 

Anna: I remember you were helping me at one point in my life. We've been doing like a one-on-one I don't know, intervention, whatever you call it. And I remember I told you, I was like, I met a good Doobie boss and of course that's what I need.

 And you're like, no, Anna, you need to go to a spa. You need a dance, you need to scrub your body. You need to oil your body. And I'm like, what the hell is she talking about? I got karmas. I got a bird now. Now I finally get it. Now I get what you are going 

Suzanne: for. I'm so glad. Yeah.

Kristina: When you come from, when you come from this school, Of the divine masculine school, the hard knocks sit on a hard surface during whatever for so long, it can feel. I mean, that's what it feels like though is it's like everything is pushing you and pushing you to become more and more uptight and just tighter in your body and tighter in your body, you know?

And it's whether it's your spiritual practice or you're, you know, you're aware of your work practice, which, you know or you're just, everything tends towards that. Uptightness and without the 

Anna: ability rigidity. 

Kristina: Yeah. Without the, yet to fi find the flow, you know, that's where it is, you know?

And I don't know. Can you, can I that's the question I want to ask right now, if that's okay. I'm just going to do it on prem to 

Anna: no, we don't. We just go impromptu here. Yeah. Is, 

Kristina: you know, What I feel from you when I feel it. And and what I feel like I'm always, it's like a liquidity, it's like a flow.

It's a thing like that. Like, how do you maintain that throughout your day? Like throughout your day? Is it that you've cultivated it to a certain point? And so it's easy or is it really work or maybe even hearkened back to the first time when you were first developing this beautiful flow that you have coming forth from you?

That is the divine feminine. 

Suzanne: Thank you. Thank you. So, you know, like everyone, like every one of us, I fall in my ass a lot. You know, I forget, I don't walk around all the time, floating on liquid love, light.

I don't have sunshine shining out of my, you know, everywhere. All I really don't. I, life has its way with me, you know, as we all do. And I try to remember to have compassion with myself when I forget. And I, what I try to do, what I've learned to do is that when I start to feel stressed out, I start to feel anxious.

I start to feel like there's not enough time in a day to get all the things that I need to get done. When my body starts to tighten, I remember the possibility of what happens when I move my. So the very first thing, I mean, just like what we did today here, I've had, for example, I'll give you real examples.

You know, today has been a full day for me and although. My day is a little easier. I feel like than most, you know, I live in a beautiful space. I have lots of nature around me and I've set up my life in a way that, that it's juicy. And I, and we can get into more of what I do to do that. But my life is typically really juicy.

I I have lots of beauty around me, a lot of space to be creative and move my body yet. I had a full day of appointments and seeing clients and going places and doing things and I to have a family, you know, I have a son who's still living at home and helping him to move forward in his life as well.

So there's a lot going on. And of course my beloved, my husband, you know, and it's also supporting him in being the best that he can be. So as women. There is a lot that we carry. And so even just before our call today, our session today, I had to stop and say, okay, you know, come on. Let's are you ready?

Let's turn on some music. And let's dance. And I was so glad that you both said, okay, we have the time we'll do this. And it's w it's remembering to do your practices and feminine practices for me are what's going to get me in my. What is the quickest way to get me in my body. So whether that's turn on some music and dance, that's really quick, that'll get me in really fast, get me relaxed and happy and vibrant and alive.

You may have more time where you know, maybe you're at home, you've come home from a long day. You can go have a nice bath that will get you feeling your body. You know, some, like to have a little glass of wine that just, you know, relaxes your entire self. You drop into the water, you put on oil, some, all the different scents and fragrances and touch.

And visually you can add beauty in your space that will relax you into your body. And just think of what do you enjoy? What does your body enjoy? You know, making love, taking your time. Doing that thinking about making love, it could get you in your body, you know, all that kind of way. We can get so creative with this massage, all of it.

Kristina: I love how you say taking your time. That really resonates with me, Luke and I have really been talking a lot about the slow life. Like where do we cultivate? You know, they're slow food and they're slow money. There's all these like slow kind of lifestyle things. And it's just It really is amazing.

Like how taking your time. I feel like could, can really, it's such a unique concept in our culture right now to take your time to do something. And that, that feeds the divine feminine. I never thought of it that way. 

Suzanne: Absolutely. And food, 

Anna: like food tastes so much better when you take your time, you know, if you actually chew before you 

Suzanne: take your next bite, 

Anna: like amazing the quality and the quality is changes when you slow it down.

Suzanne: Absolutely. Yeah. You're going to 

Anna: hear a lot of pitter patters. The sun is running laps upstairs, 

Suzanne: life is having its way with us to life. Is 

Anna: my home. My home is making love to me.

Suzanne: Yeah. 

Anna: Yeah. So speaking of parenthood, I've met your son. I have not met your daughter, your son. I always joke to my husband that your son is one of my favorite people. Even though I met him, he was like 12. He was 12 years old and he was already holding himself with so much integrity and vulnerability.

I remember your husband said to him, something like shaman, see how you can show up in people's lives and make a difference. And the very next airport stop, we got to, we were on a tour in India. He started helping everyone pick out their luggage. And then another time he sat there and said, let's go around the bus.

Cause we're on a bus ride going through the tamales. And so at the end says everybody, all the women on the bus give my son your best romance advice. Or he said, everyone on the bus, give my son your best romance advice. And so we went around and everyone took their time being like, okay, if you're going to break up with someone do it in person, not a text, you know, like everyone had their own advice and he was only 12 and he just sat there, taking it all in.

And I saw it as a 12 year old, I would have been squirming. He's such an awesome kid and I'm sure he's an awesome adult. So my question was piggybacking, that story is. How do you think as a divine feminine mother what are some of the best things you can do for your children?

For them to realize they're full? I don't even want to say full potential because I'm not like that. I don't want to be like that. Tiger monks. Mom's success driven mom, but what are you doing? Cause your son is so different than other kids. What are you doing? 

Suzanne: Oh, geez. That's a big question.

Grateful. I'm grateful to have a part. My husband who is very clear about his his responsibility as as his father and what that entails what that is about in passing on what it is to be a man, what it is to be a divine masculine sourced of grounding presence and claim and penetration, what that is.

And I'll get into, you know, the dynamics of the masculine and the feminine that we teach. But my husband is such an example of that. And what I would say is that we aim to be the example that we wish to see in our children. We. Must be the example that we wish to see in our children. And so my husband is a fine demonstration of what it is to be a man that has respect for women that has respect for himself.

And so he demonstrates that. And for myself, I demonstrate what it means to be a strong woman who is mixed choices from her. And has that also that softness, that tenderness, that vulnerability, I show that as in, in my interactions with my husband and my interactions with him, and it is that, that he learns from that and I'm going to share one other thing.

That's real exciting about what I'm doing actually with him. And it will help me to explain the dynamics that Satya and I teach with the masculine and feminine. So you ready? Oh yeah. So it was actually showman who had introduced me to a form of dance called tango. If you know this dance, it is suspended dance and it is quite a dramatic.

Dance form. And so the woman and the men are very strong. The partners are very strong. It doesn't always have to be a man and a woman, but the dynamics, the masculine and the feminine partners are very strong very solid in their place. And it's interesting that my son was the one that introduced me to this form of dance.

Now I love Latin dance, generally. I love I love it because it's sexy. I, you salsa for me. I can do that with my eyes closed because I come from Jamaica and it's actually one of the dances that I'm used to yet. I used to see tangle. And think and my son said, mommy, you've got to try this. I looked at it.

I thought it seems so difficult. It seems so strong and powerful, but where's the romance where is everything? And he said to me, mom, they're communicating with each other. They're feeling each other in micro moments. And I thought, what I got to check into this, we got to dive into this further. And what I discovered was that the language between the masculine and the feminine forms of this dance were so powerful.

And I'll tease that open for you and let you know what they're communicating and how, and this will demonstrate what we teach to couples who want to learn how to ignite their. Which may have been one of your questions. Yes. Can 

Kristina: you expand on those dynamics? 

Suzanne: Tell us. Yes. Yes I can. Okay, so you got, imagine two triangles.

Okay. One, one of the triangles is represents the feminine side of this dance and the other triangle represent, or one of them is the triangle. If you imagine it going for the tip goes from the heaven to the earth and that would represent the masculine form. And then the other triangle comes from the earth to the heavens and that represents the feminine form.

And each point on these triangles are the dials that we turn up the polar. And so passion equals polarity and polarity is actually the arc of attraction between lovers. Yeah. So, all right. So if you imagine now Latin dancers these tango dancers, so the masculine side, the three points to that triangle coming from the heaven to the earth is P C P the acronym or the letters or PCP P the first P stands for presence and presence in the masculine side is I'm here.

I'm right here. I'm right here with you. You can feel me fully and. C on the triangle stands for claim. I claim you I'm here with you. I want you and no one else.

right. Yes. So it's what do you claim? And then the last one is that the last P is for penetration and penalty and you want to be penetrated

And so the last one is I'm already inside of you. I'm already inhabiting all of you. So this is the language of the masculine I'm present. I'm right here. I claim you and only you and I have, I've already entered your entire being. I know all of you. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. That is nice. And when the masculine part of this partnership is in full force, what it does is the feminine comes alive and the feminine is wow, I can feel that you can feel that it's palatable.

And what is the gift that the feminine offers from the heavens to the earth? What she offers is invitation, surrender and expression. So invitation is how is she moving? What is their eyes open? Is she smiling? Is she beckoning? Is she beckoning his presence? Having him wanting to be there, wanting to come to the party, which.

Which is her surrender means willingness to receive fully receive his claim, willing to receive him. And in that surrender, she relaxed. Is she willing? She's showing her body is willing to receive him and then expression. How much is that all turned up in all areas? Is she fiery and alive or is she soft and sultry?

What is she doing? Is she displaying all of it? Like in all ways. 

Kristina: That is so beautiful and so sexy. Oh. 

Anna: So I love that 

Suzanne: my analytical mind is like, so does the invitation 

Kristina: start first or does the presence start first or is it like a simultaneous happening? Is there an initiator or can either initiate.

Suzanne: Ah, absolutely great question. Either can initiate. 

Anna: I remember you told me when we were working together, the invitation doesn't even have to be verbal. It can just be a look. Exactly. It can be a look or a smile and I tried it and you are right?

Suzanne: Yes. Try it out. 

Anna: You can invite a lot 

Suzanne: with just a look. Yes. Yes. So true. So true. So Kristina, what you were saying who starts first? My invitation to you, anyone that's listening is to always be the one that starts first, be the one to jump in and start first, be a hundred percent responsible for this relationship to take.

Yeah, a hundred percent ready to go. Don't wait for your partner to initiate. Although they may get there first, because if that's what you're, this is how you're going to play and you're going to play this together. Then it's going to be even more fun because you both want to get there first. So let it be like, no, I'm going to start now.

I'm going to start going ongoing. Do you know and be willing to play these dynamics with each other. Have it be play? Yeah. 

Kristina: That's awesome. So for. And just for like clarification too, it doesn't have to be a man who plays. Is it always a man who plays the masculine? Or can you flip flop on who does the PCP and the and the invitation surrender expression?

Yeah. 

Suzanne: So these are dynamics of masculine and feminine energies. Okay. So masculine and feminine energies are within all of us, whether you're a man or a woman's. So as women, we have masculine and feminine energies within us and men have masculine and feminine energies within them. The question is what would ignite passion the most right now in your relationship?

So. You can be with your partner. I could be with my husband and in a moment where he is

say he's really he's really wanting my attention and he's in a funk, you know, he's just, he's all over the place. And he's just, he just really wants me to understand him. I can be present with him really present. And what that means is I'm here. I'm not distracted at all. There's a lot of things going on in my world that you're important to me and just breathing with him and just it just showing him that he is, you know, he's the center of my universe right now.

He also has a feminine heart. A feminine side to him that wants to feel loved and love in the form of presence. So I can give that to him.

He, if he, if his heart is more masculine, if he is more his value is more in terms of freedom and opening up the space that, you know, getting us to go somewhere together and less about relationship and the flow of love. Although that's important to him, if his is making sure that we're going somewhere together, then his heart is more masculine.

More of the time. He has a feminine heart, that the flow of love is important, but if his heart is more masculine, my gift to him most times would be the invitation of love is to invite him into. And so my invitation, my surrender, meaning my willingness to relax, any tension I have around my resistance to his entry, into me, my relaxation of him claiming me as his divine lover, relaxed in that and doing the things that I was sharing with you.

How can I get into my body? Go of any tension in my body helps him to awaken, helps him to go, oh, I want some of that. Do you know? And then my expression how can I come in and be the delightful sound of. Of his passion. How can I, her in his ears when you know, it's a moment where it's just nothing else is going on, I can per in this year breathe or just ah, loudly and just make a sound of God.

You're hot. I'm so glad that I'm with you, you know, that's expression. And he's oh, I want to get into that. So we play, you know, play whatever works what's going to bring the most passion. It's about being art, artistic in it. A lot of artistry is possible and creativity. 

Kristina: That's so beautiful. Thank you.

Suzanne: Yeah. I love 

Anna: it. What about for our listeners who are not yet in a relationship? And they're in the dating phase or the looking phase, like how can they incorporate this? 

Suzanne: Here in the dating phase, the looking phase, you're in a really great place to actually really great place because your canvas is clear.

There's nothing going on that you necessarily have to, you don't have to clean up anything. The canvas is clear for the opportunity for you to try out this creative dynamic. I suggest to any woman that I work with to just go into a place of devotion, to the highest form of masculine source that you know, and close to yourself, pull away from the world and go into a beautiful space in your room, in your home.

And start to make love figuratively in your mind, your body find what represents a source of masculine energy. So you may be spiritually, you know, you have a spiritual idea of what masculine power strength, integrity is, devote yourself to that, devote yourself to giving all of you to that. What that means is I'll give you an example, a tangible example of in my own life.

So very young and you know, this is my spiritual beginnings with. And so for me, you know, Jesus, I had Jesus as my focus and I would say, you're going to say something, oh no, I sh 

Anna: I was like, no, I was going to make a joke about, but I just realize that's 

Suzanne: inappropriate. I was like, did you have sex 

Anna: fantasies about Jesus?

Suzanne: Come on. Now, how many I'm going to just 

Anna: yes 

Suzanne: I sure did. And now we've just made, now we've just gone way off the edge. You know how many

don't 

Anna: worry. Our listeners are quite open-minded. 

Suzanne: Oh my God. Well, I'm out of the closet there now to see

So anyway, find your source of masculine integrity, whatever that is and give yourself to that. I did when I was very young, I gave myself to God and I said, use me and use me so that I can give my love in the places that are most needed. And when I did that, what I realized is I became so attractive to the world.

Absolutely radiant, because when you're willing to give your love fully relax and open and give your love fully and allow your love to be directed into places that need your love then and devote your time to that. Then what will and not raise your eyes until something as powerful as that masculine source of integrity walks into a room in ma in human form, then you're holding yourself in the highest standard.

It's like a priestess. Absolutely. And we should be nothing less than that. Remember who you are. And when you walk in the world from that place of, you know what, my bet, my beloved is the highest form of masculine integrity in, in, in a source. Then you have no need for anything except. And you still don't have a need, but you have, you may have a desire for one that steps into you, a world in human form that is also open them up themself up to the highest integrity in masculine form.

And they actually show up in that form. 

Anna: You're making the blueprint of the energy 

Suzanne: that you want that's right. Right. And that works in the opposite for men who are listening, you know, just go for the highest form of Radiant's one who love is at their center and watch them when they're not performing.

Are they being loving? How are they speaking about others? What are they doing when something is needed? Are they tending to that? Or are they looking at themselves? Is it more about them and how they look, or is it about the love that they give oh, there and ask yourself what is the most valuable and become that become the thing that you are desiring to have in your life as a partner become that.

And you will attract that to yourself. 

Kristina: That's awesome. Thank you. I have a question about that because for me, I feel sometimes that. I want to open myself. I want to become that open heart. Right. And yet my past and my head gets in the way. Right. Or whatever you want to say gets in the way. Sometimes it feels like something gets in the way and it, and I can't open as fully as I want.

And I can't be as present. And maybe it's a trauma or maybe it's a overactive mind or maybe, I mean, any one of those things, like what would you advise for somebody who, you know, is like me who really wants to open, but maybe doesn't know how or can't quite, it's like the doors are rusty or something 

Suzanne: like that.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question. Find yourself a coach that can help you to do that because you know, what you think is hurting you is not what's hurting you and I'll tell you I'll dial that in even today. Really what's hurting you is your separation your thought that you need to pull your heart away and close it.

That is your deepest pain. Closing your heart. 'cause your greatest joy. And the greatest fulfillment is the flow of love. Being able to give and receive love fully without any barriers, any boundaries to that borders. Do you know borders to love cause pain that we put up ourselves and the more we pull away our heart, the more we close our heart, the more pain we experience.

And for some of us, we feel, oh, there is so much pain to open our heart that now we're going to pull back even further and we start to feel even more pain. And then we pull back even further and we're feeling even more pain. Doesn't get better when we pull away. And when we start to open our heart, it may feel uncomfortable and frightening to open.

But you know,

when I say open your heart, I don't mean not be discerning. There is a difference. There is a difference and this should be spoken. Do you know if you're in a, if you're in an abusive relationship, you can still have your heart open, but be discerning to remove yourself from that situation, you can be discerning and saying.

But your heart can stay fully open while you're saying no to a situation that could be harmful. And my invitation is to start to breathe, open the places that have been potentially calcified due to your closure due to your fist being. So imagine you do this with me right now. I mean, make a fist, a real tight fist tight knit, even more tighten tighten, pull away, notice how you feel, even though, you know, you may be right and you may have been hurt and you're tightening and you're strong.

We are strong and we can pull back. We can tighten it even more. And yeah. Anna S flashing her hand cause it hurts. Because it actually does hurt. And this is what hurts your heart. But notice that as you start to open your fingers, it's not exactly comfortable when you do that. It you start to feel the growing pains of that, but as you open some more and you breathe and you allow what actually feels like a contraction is actually like birth.

The very thing. That's about the gift that's about to come forth. And if you can breathe it open and know that at the end of the road, it's pure fulfillment. That's where heaven is. When you talk about heaven's gates opening that's what that is.

Anna: So, no breathe that 

Suzanne: one in,

Anna: so we have other questions. I love what you said about raising a son, just being leading example. And I think that's true also with the daughters would you have different advice for someone who's raising a son versus raising a daughter?

And when I say that, by the way, for anyone listening who's non-binary or trans I'm talking about someone who embodies mostly feminine energy or mostly masculine energy. Like this is a question for anyone, but if you're raising a more feminine body person are there any things that you would suggest, like you're talking about discernment?

 Like how can we help our daughters stay open, but discerning, 

Suzanne: Again, you know, it's example, it's through our example, and the very thing we fear is the very opportunity for ourselves to open more and be more discerning.

So to the extent that we fear, let's take a look in our own world. How fine tuned. How fine tuned are we, and that's the opportunity for us to demonstrate how the tuning of it and continuous growth in those areas so that we haven't arrived, but that we're continuing to grow.

We're continuing to learn in those areas. And so you were asking about treating sons and daughters, how are they, how is it different? So for instance and you know, a lot of these dynamics that I share with you have been inspired by the work of David data, who we've studied with for many years.

And he speaks about the masculine and feminine energy. And let me just say, and you know, what we've learned from him and his work is. Masculine energy grows through challenge and feminine energy grows through praise and community masculine energy grows through challenge and isolation, feminine energy growth through community and praise.

So you could feel the difference there. So I'll give an example of our daughter and son. So our son, I used to get it wrong, actually. And it's interesting because you know, our daughter's older and they're very different and our son's younger. And so our son's, you know, he's my baby and oh, I just want to, you know, keep him a baby for so long and just praise him and love on him and keep him with me all the time.

But that actually doesn't help. To grow the masculine within him. Instead he needs challenge. He needs to be, he needs to be challenged, grow in his masculine. So at some point I give him over to his father. And if there is not a father figure in your son's life, find someone who is direction and freedom is their core value.

Someone that you trust and have your son spend time with that one because you can't give it to them. If you have more of a feminine core, you shouldn't be giving it to them because what that's doing is it's causing a bit of a confusion within them. So I hand over my son to my father and to the men in my community that have that skill of challenging.

So I give them over to them. So they learn from, he learns from that end, you're going to say something. Oh, I 

Anna: was going to say for example, martial arts, right. You could send him to martial arts and that's men teaching him. And I mean, I'm just thinking of like a 

Suzanne: plausible or functional. Absolutely. So, yeah.

So my husband's a martial artist just happens to be, and yes, martial arts teaches discipline and it is challenge and going out into the woods and suiting and not having any computer access. No, no one talking to him a whole lot, but just him and, you know, being out there quietly grows him, has him go into vision and sees, what is it, what is his next step?

And I use the word, his, if you need to sharpen your purpose in the world, these are the things that you need to do for your masculine. Your sons or daughters that need to sharpen their masculine or your daughter who needs to sharpen her to expand her feminine, light, her feminine radiance, praise her, tell her that she's beautiful.

Tell her why. She's beautiful to you. Tell her about her beauty gets specific. Tell her about what you love about her and the beauty you see in her and spend time with her hug her, touch her, just be around. And especially the ones that want to push you away and say no. And especially if they're teenagers, you know, no, it's too much with my daughter.

I just, I embrace her like an Anaconda. She can't get out of it. I just give her my love so deeply that way it will grow them. And it will have them understand that they are love through your love and be around other women as well around other feminine beings that can understand what it means, what it does to be praised and to be in community, show her that, and she will learn through your example.

Kristina: That's beautiful. Thank you. So you spoke about. Freedom and love. And I know that we spoke with Satya and about freedom and love, like freedom being the masculine kind of core value in the love being the feminine core value, or I don't know of core value is the right term. But. From my in my life.

Sometimes I struggle because I do play masculine so often. And for me, I understand the aspiration of freedom. And then when I go into the love part, which I know is something that I'm actively cultivating at this point I'm on a quest to become a better masturbator, which is hilarious. But I mean, not like in the really, I did say that I don't, I 

Suzanne: can't say 

Anna: that.

Kristina: Well, no, I just love it because I'm, when I say that, I mean, it on all different levels, I'm not just talking about the physical, I'm like really exploring what it means to defile yourself and like unwrap all these things that I can feel come from past lives. But th that's not that's not this conversation, but there I am out there.

But like when it comes to that set, that love part. I really, for one thing, my brain just. Does not compute it like becomes this, like riddle that I can't figure out because like, how do you embody love and still get stuff done? Like how, you know what I mean? I struggle with that. And if you can say any words for anyone out there who might be like me you know, not try not people like me who are trying to be better master writers, but people

Suzanne: you think I surrendered what 

Anna: Anna? I said, you just, you surrender. I love it. 

Suzanne: Yeah. Well, so you're already good at getting things done is what you're saying. Yeah. But 

Kristina: I think my mind sometimes struggles. Can 

Anna: you, how can she get an, a plus in surrender femininity?

Suzanne: I 

Kristina: guess that's exactly it. I like, I, 

Anna: you know, because you're being type a about something that's type me. 

Kristina: I mean, I think that's the struggle that I sometimes feel is like I CA I came to recognize that in some ways, for me to embody my most divine feminine, I could hold two things that seemed completely dif disparate.

Like I could hold cognitive dissonance, you know, I could cause two things that two trues that are completely in opposition and I could hold them in my body and love them both. There wasn't a right there. Wasn't, I'm picking this one and not this one. Right. 

Suzanne: And 

Kristina: I've been understanding that more, but sometimes I feel like I'm giving up so much.

By going the love route because I'm giving up so much freedom. You know what I'm saying? You could see, this is all just bullshit that my mind's creating. So, you know, maybe I'll just talk it out and then 

Suzanne: we can go on. But yeah, but 

Anna: You're saying if you're full of love all the time, dance-y, dance-y lovey, when is the shit going to go?

Kristina: Yeah. What does that look like? 

Suzanne: It's a good question. You know? And it's a potent question and it's a question that's really up. It's I'm going to lose, could I lose my edge if I get all lovey dancey huggy Praysee you know, could I lose my edge? Yeah, you could potentially, but here's the worst thing is that you could if you don't open up to your feminine.

Replenishment and rejuvenation, what could happen is you could dry up and die,

right? You could dry up and die. And the very thing that you're trying to be effective in, we'll go we'll just go to hell. 

Anna: It's like we run right into the thing we're trying to escape. 

Suzanne: Yeah. I mean, that's on the, this is on the macro that I'm saying that, but like getting into the specifics and I completely understand what you're saying.

I love making skin. I love creating plans. I actually really love all that 

Anna: stuff. The check box is very fun. 

Suzanne: I love organizing. I mean, one of my talking about masturbating, one of the greatest turn on, like it's like containers, I started 

Anna: getting a porn shops. We're going to 

Suzanne: the container store.

about it right now has the Altima, you know, and if we're not imbalanced by it's like not drinking water. If you go without drinking water, what will happen is you will become parched and you will, all kinds of stuff will start happening. It's necessary for you to be effective. To move your body and to be in your body and to have your feminine body in livened, replenished rejuvenated.

It is effective for you to do the work that you need to do in the world. The masculine work that you need to do in the world, it is essential that you give yourself a spa treatment in whatever way that it could be from very simple move dancing. That's to me, that's a spot treatment. When you go to a spa you know that you're going to go in and you're going to feel a certain way.

When you come out, you're going to feel a certain way. There's going to be a transformation, your body spirit, your soul. And so it's an opportunity for you to fine tune, whatever it is that you're doing by taking the time to go, oh, okay. I got to love wider right now because I am so tight in my brain and things are not even working.

I'm missing appointments or I'm forgetting to do things means you're feminine is out of whack and you've got to replenish. So you want to be more effective, look at your feminine and S and feel into, and give an offer more of what she needs. 

Kristina: Does that help? It does. It does a lot. Thank you. 

Suzanne: Yeah. Even when you don't want to it's exactly when it's needed, especially.

Kristina: Even now I'm like, uncrossing my legs. And yeah, I'm just gonna,

Suzanne: yeah. Yeah. And that's why we need community, you know, because it's a, we can't do it alone. And that's the other thing is that we've gone into the world and we do things on our own and think this is how it's, this is how I'm going to be most effective. I don't have a tribe behind me to make things happen.

Got to go back to the tribe. You got to create a tribe around you and maybe it's even just one other. And that's how we replenish. We remind each other what is valuable. And we demonstrate it. We be the change we want to see in our sisters. Yeah.

Thank you.

Kristina: I have another question, Anna, unless you go. You talked about making your life juicy. Tell me more, tell us 

Suzanne: more.

Oh, okay. So one of the ways that I make my life do you see is I have my own room, my own bedroom. So even though I am in a very happy marriage my husband and I do not share the same bedroom. No. And so even if you don't have the capacity to have two different rooms, you can create this for yourself.

And here's the opportunity. What I do in my room is I make. Absolutely the most delicious place to be. I, the colors in my room, the fabric that I put on my bed, the aroma that I let go into the space. That's just the fragrances that I love. Like my bedroom is delightful. My bedroom is beautiful.

It's sensual in so many ways. Just, you know, the fragrance that I like to diffuse into my room, the colors that the yummy colors that I add to my room, the textures I love to feel softness and I love to the furry Carpets that I put, you know, the, just the different, all the different and leather and fur and colors and the sense it's all comes to life.

And Anna, you were speaking about, you know, when you're naked and your daughter sees you. Another thing that I love to do is I love to put on different oils and creams all over my body and different sense. So different layers of sense. So when I'm doing this in the morning, when I'm putting, when I'm selling my body, I'm going.

Damn that smells good. You know, this is I mean, come on girl, you know, I'm enjoying myself, looking at myself and just, wow, I'm loving what I'm seeing. And it doesn't matter if I'm at my, what you would quote ideal weight. Or if I put on a little bit or whatever the idea is to just love me in all of my phases and stages and wrinkles and you know, sizes and all that, because I've had, I've gone through all of those.

And the idea is to just love me and my space with all of that and to get turned on by that, you know, turn my own self on. So you can't turn your own cell phone to me, you know, it's not safe. You can, but turn yourself. I mean,

Kristina: I'm all about it. Like I said, I'm on a path 

Anna: to be the master masturbator master 

Kristina: Bader. Well, I mean, like I said, it goes a little bit beyond the physical, but it's also that whole thing. Like I, even 

Anna: if it did it, that's fine. Even if it's in 

Suzanne: here, I beg to differ because do you know when we were dancing before the show started, I saw some moves from you.

Let me just damn girl

Kristina: marketing back to my college for sure. Two days right there.

Or probably even younger probably when I was like a young preteen and I was just dancing in front of my mirror hours every night. That was totally. 

Suzanne: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here we go. Here we go. We're touching on something now. 

Kristina: Yeah, for sure. It's and it's funny you say that about all the oils and things like that.

I'm the type of person who like, I like people give me their old beauty supplies and then I still never use them.

Suzanne: You got to put it on with some music 

Kristina: girl. That's right. We'll get some music and get some of those foot scrubs. I have 10 of them and I'll do some no, that's wonderful. And that's such an amazing concept too. I feel like there's this, you know, in human design as well, there's this understanding about how there are certain people who really need to sleep in their own ORIC field. Like they should not sleep next to another person. Because it is.

'cause they just absorb everybody else's stuff when they're sleeping. Right. And so like for them to have that kind of really autonomous space and that sovereignty when they're sleeping is so important. And yet our culture just sees that as you know, like maybe the people in the fifties with the two twin beds in the same room, you know, had something going you know, 

Suzanne: not really, but come to think of it.

My grandparents have that. That's interesting. But yeah, you know, it helps to create this arc of attraction between my husband and I, because if we're not sleeping in the same bed when we're not sleeping in the same bed and it doesn't mean we don't end up in the same beds, I invite him in for sure.

And he totally invites me in, but it's if he can be my sexy name, You know, it's not like he has do, we have to be together all the time, but when I'm getting juicy in my room and he's getting hot and, you know, present and, you know, strong in his mask, sexy, it's sexy to think about him over there.

You know, and we flirt flirting is a great thing. Yeah. 

Anna: I mean, what is it the difference between Eros and a GFI or euros? There is the polarity, right? Like with Eros comes tension there, Eros needs tension to live. Right. So, yeah.

Suzanne: And you know, back to the whole tango dance works with great dancers and I'm just learning it a little bit now.

And what I've learned is that the tension. Between the dancers is actually what holds the dance in place that tension between the, if you can just stay in the tension and come together as the tension is there and feel it and still give your full masculine and your full feminine to that without closure, it's hot as heck it's fire it's passion.

So don't be afraid of a little tension, breathe into it, move towards it. Don't move away from it, move towards it. Keep your heart open and you know, just, yeah, I mean, I. Keep my husband's cock heart and his heart open. That's what you gotta do. I get the show it's unleashed

Anna: this spiritual fix.

Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, I was just what just came to mind quickly too, is that you know, one of the things that I kind of experiences is this over sensitivity and I'm feeling like it has something to do with what you're saying with putting the fist really tight as that as you're opening up, it may feel like you're over-sensitive or maybe you clenched up at some point to become over-sensitive what is, how does just out of curiosity, how does that word fit into all of this?

If it's too complicated, you don't have to touch on it. But 

Suzanne: I was just clarify what you mean by in what context, sensitivity, just you sensitive 

Kristina: to touch. Sensitive to being embraced, like just, you know, it's almost like your nerves and 

Anna: You talked about sensory overload, right? Yeah. 

Kristina: It's a little bit like, yeah.

It's like an overstimulation or something along those lines. 

Suzanne: Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're not all made the same, you know, we're not all made the same. And the beauty of it is that we can discover what our partners what feeds them, what feeds us like first and foremost, what feeds you? And so the lightest of touch, like not even being touched at all, just the idea of the caress that doesn't even have to be on the skin.

That's just, you can just feel the aura of the person and just taking time. To just become aware, just hovering over their skin can be as erotic as just the complete, you know, massage and penetration. Some people like it strong and some people like it soft, very gentle, very, almost not there in the beginning.

So the opportunity is to discover the, as one of, one of our mentors one of my mentors Jaya who, who teaches the erotic blueprint has spoken about and you might want to look this up. It's real, I've seen 

Anna: her, I've seen her like ads and stuff. 

Suzanne: So it's just everyone's different. And just because you may not be into, you know, being penetrated right away or being held tight right away, there's nothing wrong with you.

Maybe you just like the lightest of touch. And maybe that slowly will open you up to something deeper or maybe that's that in itself. Can have you go into absolute orgasmic states of pleasure, just even the thought of it. The tease of it can be just in rupturing. So never think that just because you don't like it one way that there's anything ever wrong with you, there's just opportunities.

It's an artistic expression. That's all.

And did 

Kristina: you have a 

Anna: question? Oh, I had a question. So what would you say? I think it's just a matter of tastes, but what do you say to those women? I know a lot of them am like to be taken almost exploitated really. 

But you know, like some, I think some men are like what you want to be taken. So roughly, and I want to be soft, I guess. What if , you and your partner are a little bit, have 

Suzanne: different tastes in that regard you have different tastes in that regard? Well, it's an opportunity. So, so let me give you an example in my own life.

So. I like to try different things where I, you know, where it can be. How do I reveal myself on the show? You 

Anna: already admitted to masturbating to Jesus. I think we're past 

Suzanne: yeah.

 But yeah, I mean, we're different. It's just different. And so the opportunity is to learn about what turns your partner on learn about what turns them on. Judge what turns them on and learn to the point of getting turned on yourself in what turns your partner on.

So not be as sexual a person, but try and learn about what turns on someone who is more sexual. Look at objects of sex, you know, find out what it is that turns them on and go into that and go. I'm curious about that. What is that, that, that turns you on? Or if like you're saying Anna, if you're if they think about, you know, maybe a little bit more rough sexual play in a relationship that is honoring, I'm not talking about abusive relation, but if you're honoring and you trust your partner and you want to get a little more.

And your partner doesn't understand how they should learn about that. It's called, you know, it's the area of kink, for instance, you know, go learn about the different areas of kink and it's so wide, it's the attrical and get excited, learn to the point of find out what gets them excited and try and get excited yourself about that so that you can feed them with what turns them on, but don't starve yourself, find out what turns you on and become a really interested and curious about that.

And don't judge yourself in what turns you on become curious about that so that you can not only ask for that, but then you can also share with your partner. This is actually what turns me on here. Would you like to get curious with. Let's get curious together, use the word curious, you know, so there's so many different forms of sexual turn-on and opportunities to learn and expand your palate for yourself and your partner.

So beautiful.

Ah, the sexy opportunities 

so if you came on to listen today to find out more about the divine feminine within yourself, within your partner, then the opportunity is there for you to invite, allow and welcome the energy of the feminine of the divine feminine, which is in invitation, surrender and express. And the invitation is for you to find out how can I be more inviting in my life?

What can I invite more into my life? How can I relax any tension around my heart to opening as wide as it can be and how can I be or encourage more expression in its fullness coming out of the closet, expressing who I am in this world. Is there anything that I've held back that I can express more of me that I maybe have been afraid to and the inquire and get curious.

And unlock and unleash and let that come forward, invite allow and welcome that more so, so that the divine feminine in you and in others will be inspired through your example.