Tantra- The Transcript
Kristina: Hi Anna. Hey Kristina, how are you this morning?
Anna: I'm tired. Are you a little bit? I don't know why. I think it, I think I partied too hard last night.
Kristina: We did have fun. Last night. So Anna, you want to tell us about a technique that you saw the other day that like resonated and it really resonates with the mother wound to, right.
Anna: so there was a, this video went viral and Tik TOK because it was a woman complaining that she had been home all day with her baby and the husband gets home from work.
Anna: She's like, can you please watch our baby while I go take showers? She goes and take a shower. And the husband has fallen asleep on the couch with the baby in a very unsafe position and in the comment section, it blew up talking about weaponized in competence, which for anyone who's not familiar, weaponized and competence is when a person, male or female pretends to not know how to do something, or they do something incorrectly on purpose.
Anna: And I think in a lot of cases, it's unclear. ' cause they know that if they do it wrong, someone else is going to pick up the slack and someone else is going to end up doing the work. And I think in the whole caregiving role of family responsibilities and duties, people are becoming more aware of how that happens in childbearing and house chores, mostly between male and female, because of the man trying to not do his duties.
Anna: You know, like if you go on and read it and you go to, am I the ass. I read recently one where the woman was like, me. And my boyfriend have been dating for five years and he's always kept a clean and tidy house. And then we moved in together six months ago, and he suddenly can't remember to do any of the chores and that he was basically feigning incompetence because she would do it.
Anna: Yeah. And it was hilarious because she decided that she was just going to go with it to see what would happen. So like he accidentally got bleached jeans all over a dress. So then she waited until they had a family dinner and she wore that dress and he was like, don't wear that. And she's like, oh, but you told me to lower my standards on cleaning.
Anna: You did a great job. And she wore it. And eventually by pretending that everything he was doing wrong was okay, like serving him food on dirty dishes because he didn't wash them correctly. He finally changed his ways and went back to. Non incompetent ways, but it just was a funny am I, the
Kristina: asshole? That's so interesting.
Kristina: And the way the first that I first came across fainting competence, I didn't come across it as weaponizing competence, but it was fainting. Competence was a woman creating a grocery list that literally had photos on it of like where the aisle and everything like where the aisle is, what it needed to look like, the exact brand and variety.
Kristina: It was literally like, you can't go to the grocery store. She must've spent hours on this thing, cutting out pictures and printing out pictures, you know,
Anna: basically making the other person do far more work , to make up for the fact that you pretend to be an idiot. I think if anyone does it, like if men are doing this to offload more responsibilities and more mental load on the wife or the female partner, it's a huge sexual turnoff because who wants to fuck an imbecile or a child. So I think when people are thinking any gender, oh, well, this is my way out of doing the chore I don't want to do. Or if I pretend to be an idiot, they'll just take it up. The price you're paying for that is that you start to lose all attractivity.
Kristina: Yeah. Well, so the funny thing is that, you know, and it was like, we shouldn't be gender specific. It's not always men who are doing this. And I was like, you're absolutely right. Because when I got back from England, I was like very much so in the whole, like having just released the stress or basically getting off the plane and getting in the car.
Kristina: You know, made it so that I was like, okay, so in theory, the stressor has been removed. But I still have to go through the rest of my stress cycle. I still have to like offload all the stress that I had been experiencing accumulating for the last two to three weeks, whatever. And I cannot remember what the hell it was, but in the week that I was really kind of this fragile person and obviously still working through my mother wounds stuff.
Kristina: I asked Luke to like, change a light bulb , I think it may have been like a level two or level three handy person thing. And he was like, who are you? He like joked. He was like, who are you? Like since, when do you pretend that you can't do something like, he's like, you would never, you never do that.
Kristina: And I was just like, I don't want to do it. Like I want you to do it. And so in that realization of being like, I actually just feigned in competency other day by asking him to do something. I was working through my mother wound and wanting to be taken care of. I didn't want to have to be the person who knew how to do everything and , who could fix every fucking thing who could like, you know, go up on the roof and patch a hole in the roof, or, you know, do whatever the things I normally do.
Kristina: Because I make myself indispensable by learning how to do fucking everything and being okay with it. I didn't want to do that when I
Anna: got back was kind of drama because the direct thing, instead of, you know, feigning incompetence to be rescued, you could have just been like. Hey, I really don't feel well enough to change the light bulb.
Anna: Would you do it instead of pretending that you suddenly don't know how I mean? Yeah. And eventually
Kristina: it came to that. It came to that very quickly that I basically was just like, I just don't want to do it. Like, I don't want to get the, oh, it was an insect, it was an insect, there was an insect somewhere.
Kristina: And I was just like, I don't want to get the it's gross. I don't want to get it out. Like, you know, and normally I would be the one to do that. Or we would split the duty. Whoever found the insect would be the one to remove it. So, you know, that's, it's indicative of me having a wide open mother wound.
Kristina: And I do believe that if a man or a woman comes into a relationship and they do fainting competence, they are, they want to be taken care of. They want to be taken care of. They want to be the child and they want the other person to take care of them. Whether it's a mother wound that, that never got resolved and they want to be nurtured and protected.
Kristina: Whatever's going on there, there's something deeper. With, you know, wanting to whether by subterfuge, which is this feigning competence is subterfuge or directly just saying like, I genuinely don't want to. And my mother took care of me, so you need to take care of me.
Anna: And that's not fun cause that's not a partner, that's a child.
Anna: So, OSHA once spoke about this and he said that in India, they have a saying, if you really love a woman, then the husband becomes the child and the woman becomes a mother. And I think that's so fucked up. That is so fucked up. The woman doesn't want to be their partner's mother.
Kristina: Yeah.
Kristina: Yeah. Yeah. And, but then at the same time, it also goes to level one level, two level three relationships is what we talked about with Satya. In the third episode of the season for season three in which he talked about how a level one is that kind of toxic. Mother child relationship or father, child relationship, whatever one person's taking care of, the other person, one person is not having equal responsibility for maintaining the partnership or there isn't equal power in the relationship.
Kristina: They're different power dynamics. That's like a level one kind of what we would consider a quote unquote toxic relationship. It may work for some people like I'm not saying like sometimes level one relationships work perfectly for where you are in your life. And then level two is where suddenly you get equal responsibility, right?
Kristina: Where both people are equally Contributing to the relationship. Of course, the downfall of that is neutrality, right? Is that like, you know, nobody's acting it's about their sister, it's a companion relationship. Nobody's taking a very clear divine, feminine or masculine role in it. And then a level three is when you are allowing yourself to go to your polarity, you still have equality in duty and power and privilege and things like that within the relationship.
Kristina: But you're also allowing yourself to go to your pole so that you can actually have that dynamic of attraction again. Yeah.
Anna: I think, well, I was going to say, I think in an ideal world, it's just about clear communication. Like for example, I really hate asking for help.
Anna: That's my co-dependence. But like, for example, if I have a heavy suitcase, I can get it down the stairs, but it's gonna take me a long time. And a lot of rest breaks, it's going to be a pain in the ass. If I asked my husband to do it, it'll take two seconds. And then , he gets to be my hero. So I try, when I ask, it'd be like, Hey, I would love it.
Anna: If you get down this suitcase, not, I can't do it. You know what I'm trying to say? Like,
Kristina: yeah. There's a way to make it a win-win. Yeah. And the, and then those cases, that is a win-win right. And as long as it is a request, we've talked about this in past, in the past about how demands versus requests is,
Anna: , if he couldn't or wouldn't, you know, which is not going to happen, but let's say I would have to have a backup plan to take care of my own needs, which is I'll get the suitcase down the stairs. Yeah.
Kristina: World doesn't fall apart. If he says no to your request, if he does say yes, then it's a win-win because you get to make him the hero and you also get to work on relying on somebody else to help and
Anna: not breaking my back.
Anna: Just kidding. But that too, very importantly. Yeah. So what are we talking about? Okay, Christina,
Kristina: we are going to be talking about the two different types of tantra today. We're going to be talking about classical and Neo tantra.
Kristina: Okay. As the, as a kind of overview, classical tantra is the tantra. That was one of the original yogas that have found its inception many thousand years ago. And which was actually the birth of Hata, which is the posture. Yoga came from tantra that kind of tantra classical tantra has orgasm and energy movement, but it does not necessarily have.
Kristina: Neo tantra is what found its inception in the summer of love in 1967, for the most part. But when tantra moved into the west, it was like, oh, orgasm sex. So that it's the more ideal of how you're able to find deep relationships with others.
Kristina: It's all kind of classical tantra in the sense that whether you use sex or whether you use pranayama, like intentional breathing to get to the same point of orgasmic, release tension release, which is what orgasm is in sexual functioning, which we're gonna be talking about later this season, but in order to have orgasm all over your body, Whether you use breathing or whether you sex, it's kind of the same thing.
Kristina: Like it doesn't necessarily matter. And when you're doing it in relation to another person, then that just becomes another level of spiritual practice. So I'm making a distinction simply because tantra is a very loaded word,
Anna: but, and I told Christina before we started this episode that I have a very controversial take on tantra, which is that it's really no big deal.
Anna: It's just like any other type of meditation. It's just that it happens to involve orgasm and shared with another person and sometimes naked, but you can get those orgasms without, genital stimulation. Yeah. And I just, I don't see it as that much different than sitting fully clothed on a meditation cushion, you can get the same exact experience.
Anna: In deep meditation on a cushion, then you can making love with somebody or masturbating or getting a Yoni massage or doing pranayama. Like, I don't think it, you have to have sex to experience that I've had throat orgasms in restaurants. You know, like when I least expected it, my throat chakra would just start to have an orgasm with really good food.
Anna: So I don't believe that you have to actually do anything specific or be anywhere specific to have that level of energy shifts. Yep. Yep. Just, I just want to preface it with that because if you're listening and you are, not in a place, maybe you're not emotionally in a place, maybe you're not even the right age to be having sex.
Anna: I don't, I mean, I don't know. I just want to put it out there if you're listening and you're not having sex with anybody, it doesn't matter. This is about energy that belongs to you and is in your body. And it's not that. Taboo and it doesn't have to be about sex.
Kristina: Yeah. So Tom SRE classical tantra, we're starting with classical tantra, tantra itself means to weave or to compose.
Kristina: And the idea about it is that through visualizations and yoga practices, whether that's pranayama, which is the intentional breath or moodra is bhandas anything basically that you can see within both Korea and Hata. Korea is Yogananda's yoga lineage, which talks about basically, but the idea of a Kriya practice is to visually move energy around different circuits in your body, right?
Kristina: So Korea, Hata, tantra, they all use these idea of using your body and using your mind and your intention and your breath to move energy and unlock different centers of your body to reach samadhi. Tantra is more about using Kundalini and particular to create Shakti. And these are so many different words, which I'll explain here in a second, but to use Kundalini, to excite, basically to basically open up all the energy channels in the body to experience orgasm and to generate Shakti for your own body is, was reputed.
Kristina: And the reason that tantra was so popular was that it was reputed to basically completely negate disease and to prolong your life. Oh, right? Yeah. So the idea being that in addition to spiritual transformation and the experience of being able to experience samadhi, because you're having your Kundalini rise from your root chakra right down at the base of your spine, all the way up your Shuma, all the way up your spine, into your head, allowing you to reach a trance state of samadhi, which is a state of ecstatic bliss.
Kristina: In order to be able, you know, that's one of the benefits of it. And then the other benefit is Hey, long life. And I can choose when I leave my body and you know, it's a mastery over the body and the body systems and the energy that runs through the body, such that you are able to gain supernatural powers over the body.
Anna: Can we give everybody who's not familiar, a little rundown of Kundalini and
Kristina: Shakti. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So Kundalini is known as the snake kundalini sits at the base of your spine, dormant waiting for your shockers to become clear and waiting to be excited, such that it will rise up your spine. Either spontaneously or through a lot of spiritual practice and work the Kundalini itself is known as the snake simply because it is a vessel of wisdom, right?
Kristina: So the tree of wisdom is what was in the garden of Eden that the snake, the serpent was around. So the serpent has always traditionally been associated with wisdom whether that's good wisdom or bad wisdom, depending on your, where you're coming from is a different story. But wisdom is wisdom, especially in Eastern traditions.
Kristina: So the Kundalini sits dormant at the base of your spine. And as you do your spiritual work, do your shadow work. You're able to clear out all of your chakras and the Kundalini can get excited through mostly a lot of the time it's pranayama practices, but it's also through being around someone who already has an Okta active Kundalini.
Kristina: So I have a friend of mine who has done she's absolutely incredible. And every single time we have. Our Kundalini rises up our things and we just start having Koreas, which are spontaneous energy expressions. So we start laughing uncontrollably, or we just start getting these blissful feelings in our head because for some reason, whatever combination of the two of us being together is enough to excite or Kundalini such that it rises up our spines when we hug each other.
Kristina: That's awesome. Yeah. That's really amazing. I miss her. I had
Anna: a Kundalini, a spontaneous Kundalini experience. Should I tell it now or wait, yeah, go for it. Okay. So,, I think it was back in 2010 or 11. I went actually to India with my husband because I had previously lived in India for like three years in the early two thousands., I went to India with the warrior Sage groups at the end, Raja led it and he's in our episode, three of this season and it was a spiritual adventure tour and he took us to different sites all over India. You know, important for spirituality. So he took us to, it was about, about 15 of us.
Anna: He took us to this tantra temple in Khajuraho and you go in there and there's a big phallus symbol, which was to represent Sheba. She believed him. So it was like a big Fallis to represent Shiva and they start banging the gong. And as they bang the gong, you can feel vibrations coming off of this huge phallic bell.
Anna: And I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I feel the base of my spine start to tremble and shake. The only thing I could relate it to it'd be like having a seizure in your sacrum, but then it starts to get it got bigger and bigger. And as it started shaking more and more, it would give like ripples wave ripples, go up and down my spine up and down my spine up and down my spine.
Anna: So that in the matter of like 30 minutes, my entire body was rippling with orgasm and it would just kind of jump from one chakra to another. And I would experience the same way that you would experience orgasm in your genitals, where it gets warm and expands and contracts spans and contracts.
Anna: I was feeling orgasmic, pleasurable, or expansion contraction up every single chakra in my body. I think it just, it would stop at the base of my throat and it just kept going up and down and up and down. And it was started reverberating so that my entire body was tingling and I start laughing hysterically and I can't stop because imagine you're in public and you're feeling a full body orgasm and not just in your genitals, but on every fucking shock on your body.
Anna: And then it's reverberating into all the cells and skin in your body. And I'm just laughing, hysterically, laughing hysterically. And the temple goers, all the local Indians just kind of ignored it. Like they're like, okay, Yeah, which was funny. And then everyone in the group, the travel group was like, what the hell is going on?
Anna: And set the N I don't know what he told him. Cause I was assumed my own place and set the end was just like, it's a Kundalini experience anyways. So I go and sit down for three hours, I was just having this experience. And it did trickle up to the top of the head to my whole body. Just felt amazing.
Anna: And I was just, I felt like God was making love to me. And I was fully clothed. It was not like I was. I mean, I can't, I have, okay. I have witnesses on that spiritual adventure tour. They saw it happen. So this was the funny part. The next day, my husband and I were walking around, we were doing our tourist shopping to go back home and a couple of Indian guys come up to us and they're like, oh, Hey, you were at the tantra temple last night.
Anna: And I'm like, yeah. They're like, you must be a big Sheba devote tea. And I'm like no. Why do you say that? He's like, oh, well, you know what happened to you last night that happens to someone every month at that temple, like someone every month at that temple spontaneously has that Kundalini opening experience.
Anna: He's like, it was interesting that it happened to a westerner. We figured you must've been a great Shiva Devonte. And I'm like, I don't know anything about a Shiva. But. For whatever reason it happens there because the Shakti in that temple is so strong that it'll just give someone a spontaneous Kundalini opening.
Anna: And so
Kristina: that's actually a really good opening to, to explain the idea of Shiva and Shakti. So Shiva and Shakti are the male and female energy that are complimentary to one another. So like Anna said, the Shiva lingam is something that if you go to Indian temples, you may see a lot of, it's basically a phallus that sits in the ground.
Kristina: It doesn't really look like a falsehood. I mean, it does. It's basically just like a. It's just like a cone, like column basically. Yeah. It's a column that has around a tip. So very much like a phallus. And then it usually has like a channel at the bottom. And sometimes they're large and sometimes they're small and sometimes they're kind of all over the
Anna: place.
Anna: It's like very large. Wow.
Kristina: So that is the Shiva lingam and lingam in case y'all don't know is the Sanskrit word for the phallus for penis. Whereas Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the whole of the Monza Volvic vagina, female genitalia. And so the Shiva and the Shakti interact with one another in such a way that the Shiva is the base of everything, right? It's like the unmanifested soup of energy that sits all throughout the world, right?
Kristina: All throughout creation, all throughout all different levels of existence, whether it's on the physical form or anything else, the Shakti is the creative force that turns the Shiva into form. So Shiva is formless. Shakti is the form. It's the creative force. That's the father and the mother. It is it's 100% the father and the mother.
Kristina: So she even checked. He cannot exist without one another. Kundalini that rises up your body is the Shakti that comes from the base of the Shiva. Basically, if you were to think the sh the Shiva existing at the base of your spine, the Shakti is the, is what rises through your body. There are definitely some sex of tantra that say that the female, and this is where I don't understand because when it comes to transgender, when it comes to intersex and all these different things, especially my understanding of sexual functionality is that like, we all have the same parts they're just generated differently, but there's definitely a sector of tantra that says that the female body is uniquely geared towards creating Shakti in sexual experiences, which is one of the reasons why men seek women out so much is because they can't generate the Shakti in the same way during sexual experiences.
Kristina: So they're basically seeking the Shakti in women and we can make it, and we can. That is a very, I don't know if that's a, I genuinely don't know if that's a universal tantra understanding of the energy. I would say that, that feels weird to me simply because we all have the same parts they're just organized differently.
Kristina: But yeah, I just wanted to say that is one of the understandings of the generation of Shakti that can basically leave your body. So swamis, for instance, are celibate because when you're in a sexual encounter, and if you're not circulating this energy throughout your body, you are releasing this energy from your body, right?
Kristina: So whether it's cheesy or Shakti, they're all, they're different. So prana and cheek are mostly equivalent. Shakti is kind of its own form of creative energy. Li Prawna is simply lifeforce T and, or simply life force where Shakti is like creative, spiritual force. So swamis will become celibate and do brown Macharia simply because of the fact that they want to retain all of the Shakti in their body to circulate, which then starts to emanate out of them.
Kristina: So I have a Swami who you go to her and when you sit and when she's sitting there doing a discourse, or she's doing her Deeksha or her Darshawn. She, you just like, for me, it just, it generates create a force and I want to create everything and I get all these inspiration and all this ideas because the Shakti that she generates from being celibate and basically circulating the shopping her body and not releasing it's different than
Anna: someone who's being celebrated and then becomes a child molester because they're not, they don't understand how to redirect
Kristina: that energy.
Kristina: That's exactly it, right? Because the practice of celibacy is the practice of understanding how to move energy in your body and how to use it for a force of good and spiritual awakening and other people. So really quickly with classical tantra, I'm just going to go into some of the the kind of understanding and Hinduism about tantra.
Kristina: The main tantra can do God is , he's famously he is famously depicted as having decapitated, the Orthodox creator, God, which is. . It would be the equivalent in Christianity of like Martin Luther, even though he wasn't a God, but like of like Jesus to capitating the traditional Jewish God, like, you know what I mean? It would be a kind of that equivalent of being like, Brahma's your creator in traditional, like, you know, in the traditional thing.
Kristina: And we have our guide, who's literally going to decapitate your guide and be depicted as such. Oh, wow. Yeah. So what's his name? Which is B H a I R a V a the it's basically obviously meant to show the superiority of the tantric path and could. Propaganda. I wouldn't necessarily say that he used and then he used Brahma's head as a begging bowl.
Kristina: So he's
Anna: the blue guy who has the necklace of skulls.
Kristina: So early tantric practitioners triekas would emulate his fearsome and an anarchic appearance in order to become him. So basically he was worshiped by political leaders because he gave them strength. One of the interesting things about tantra was that it was the initiation for tantra was open to all people. So in a system that has a caste system, a very clear cast system in which only certain castes can practice. Only certain traditions tantra was open to everyone which made it incredibly enticing to women.
Kristina: And those who were socially marginalized, which is one of the reasons that it gained so much popularity. Well, it gained popularity probably because it also worked, but that was one of the reasons that gained so many
Anna: followers. I had to be a Brahman or a monk, or, you know, you had to have all this special qualifications essentially to be on the spiritual path and touches like, Hey, anyone can.
Kristina: Exactly. And so if there's something that is everyone's allowed to do, and it promises longevity and in vulnerability, You know, by with the understanding that Shakti animates everything with its divine feminine power, then it's going to become very popular. Hadza came from tantra from that. So Hata being the the yoga of force, being the use of postures to be able to to manipulate and use the same energy, the same Shakti energy as it moves through your body.
Kristina: So some of the basic tantra practices, I am not going to be able to do it justice in the five minutes. I'm going to be talking about it, but I am going to tell you guys just some basic classical tantra practices that you can do. A lot of the time with tantra it's suggested that you have a guru.
Kristina: Guru is not considered a book in the sense that having someone to actually teach you how to do these practices may be one of the best things you can probably get going on your own. But it is good to teach to seek out a teacher in particular with tantra, I think, but you know, whatever, we've talked
Anna: a lot about the tantra teacher.
Kristina: Well, okay. So that's the thing. Cause whether or not you're finding a Neo tantra, which is the one that was like kind of more the Western version of tantra, which is going to be a practitioner mostly. In sex and orgasm and all that kind of stuff. And whether or not you want to find a classical tantra teacher is I am completely unsure of that.
Kristina: I would say I'm not expecting anyone to go to India and find a classical tantra teacher. I'm sure they exist in America. But just be sure to make that distinction to say like, are they classical tantra or are they not? And one of the things that I haven't pointed out here, which is that tantra has a sect in Hinduism and in Buddhism, right?
Kristina: So Buddhism the Tibetan Buddhism comes from a lineage of tantra, right? So there are more practices of energy use and things like that. And even interesting, like, dialectics, I dunno if you guys have ever I've. When I went to Tibet, we went to a couple of monasteries and we saw these dialectic which are basically debates that the monks will have with each other.
Kristina: And it's so fascinating because they'll, there'll be sitting there and there'll be. Arguing with one another. And they're using these moodra is in these moves almost like yoga to like make a point that like slap their hands against each other and do all this kind of stuff. And like dialectics is this really interesting Tibetan Buddhist practice, which comes from the understanding and the manipulation of force and energy to be able to have a intellectual argument.
Kristina: It's totally fascinating. And obviously they're debating spiritual topics, so it's just, this, it's a really fascinating thing to witness. I don't know as much about it because obviously, like I saw it when I was there and I haven't necessarily studied it, so I could be slightly off about exactly like what the nature of it is.
Kristina: But my understanding is that it is the use of this was in Tibet. I was in I saw it at the monastery that actually started all the protests, like, I guess. 15 years ago when the monks were setting themselves on fire. Oh, God trigger warning. It was at that monastery, but of course it's like, it was highly guarded at the time.
Kristina: Because they didn't want to start anything else, but we got to see a dialectic argument there. Oh, wow. Or practice there. So just to say that there is a tantric Buddhism sect as well as a traditional classical tantra within Hinduism. Okay. So the basic practices of tantra that you can do is you can re you can buy a book on tantric breathing because tantric breathing is one of the best ways in order to understand the basic use and movement of energy in your body and the alternate nose breathing, which some people may be familiar with because it gets incorporated into Hata yoga practices.
Kristina: All the time is like key. It's really important because. What I described in the the first episode about tantra was this understanding that there are three energy channels that go up the back of our spine. There's the Chashama, which is the one that goes straight up the spine. And then there's the EDA and the Pingala, which Chris cross back and forth across that same channel.
Kristina: Right? And so the idea that tantra says is that there are certain times of day, and there are certain activities that are better suited to have more masculine energy, and some that are better suited to have more feminine energy. And the way that you can tell where you're going in terms of, are you more masculine or are you more feminine?
Kristina: Is which nostril you're breathing out of in which one? Because if you pay attention to your breath for long enough, what you'll start to notice is that you have a dominant nostril, and the left, not. It's for the masculine side, actually, which one is which one of my nostrils is weird. This one,
Anna: right?
Anna: What do you mean weird? It's like smaller
Kristina: than the other one, your right one is okay. So the right is the feminine, right? So the whatever comes out of your right nostril is your feminine is basically the termination point of the feminine energy line and the left is the masculine. And so the idea is that when you do alternate nostril breathing, you're actually balancing them.
Kristina: So alternate nostril breathing, basically you put, you can put your hand into a moodra, but it's basically, you're using your thumb to block off one nostril, your pinkie to not to block off the other nostril. And then you're putting your, you're either crossing your fingers of your index finger and your middle finger and putting it on your third eye.
Kristina: And so what you're doing is you're breathing in through your left nostril, closing it up, breathing out, and then opening up your right nostril and breathing out that way, breathing in through your right nostril, closing. And breathing out through your left nostril and this practice is absolutely incredible, especially if you let your body relax enough to be able to do it, even though you're holding your hand, obviously up on your face.
Kristina: But what it does is it balances the masculine and the feminine energy systems within your body so that you can then come into something like if you're running way too much masculine. So that would be similar to like running too much Pitta energy. Like your mind's going crazy. You can't really balance your mind or you're having too much.
Kristina: You're very aggressive. You're you have a goal set in mind and you can't get your mind off the goal even to relax for a second or you've just completed a huge project. And yet you can't seem to de-stress. You are probably running out of your masculine energy too much and doing this will allow you to balance it back again so that your feminine, that more yin energy can take over.
Kristina: I'm mixing Chinese terminology with the UN and the young, but with this. But and then the same thing, if you are depressed, if you feel like you don't have any energy, if you're feeling like you're kind of really feeling a lot of emotions and you're feeling it's hard to actually get anything done, you may be running too much feminine energy.
Kristina: Practice will allow you to balance both of the energy so that you can come back into it. But then it's also this fascinating thing that if you know, you're going into a situation where you are really wanting to be creative, and you're really wanting to be like to really get those creative juices going and have a lot of inspiration, you can purposely breathe out of your right nostril in order to stimulate the feminine energy so that you're more suited for the task.
Kristina: Oh wow. That's cool. So tantra basically allows you to recognize that you have these two energy systems in your body, and there are better times for them to express themselves then, and then as opposed to others. And I was
Anna: going to say, also, if you have children and you want to teach them meditation, it's a really good one for children because it gives them something to focus on and something to do, because it's hard for them to just sit quietly and observe the breath for a long period of time.
Anna: But if you give them something to do. Pinch the nostril data that they're more likely to enjoy that. I think because it's giving them something to do. So we've done that with our kids. That's awesome.
Kristina: Yeah. So, so there's, there are a lot of pronoun practices in tantra because pranayama is one of the main tools that tantra uses in order to be able to understand this energy.
Kristina: But I would encourage you again to either talk to somebody or read a book to start off, to be able to find out what they are and kind of their understanding of it. So moving into the second half of this episode, we are going to be talking about Neo tantra, which is the sexy part of this tantra. In which case you'll be hearing a lot more from Anna because she's got the sexy down, she's got the sexy down in ways that I aspire
Anna: to.
Anna: Well, I think the first step is seeing that sex is no different than anything else.
Kristina: Yeah, that's true. Our puritanical, like understanding of the. In the west, especially in America, because obviously is something that prevents us from using sex as a spiritual
Anna: tool. But I think if you start to see it, like, as uncharged, as eating or meditating or yoga or walking your dog, I mean, if you just see it as is not polarizing and triggering, it's really not a big deal.
Anna: Yeah. Yeah.
Kristina: So
Anna: first, which is cracks me up, that people make sex such a big deal
Kristina: also. So that's why don't you talk about more about the humiliation wound, which is probably one of the reasons why people think it's a big deal, is because there's a lot of shame associated with sex or,
Anna: Well, if we talk about sex as life, energy, everything is sex energy.
Anna: There is no good energy. There is no bad energy. Energy is energy. And when you start to understand that all energy is energy and that sexual energy is just energy. You start to realize that the whole world is actually made out of sex energy, because that is the creative force.
Anna: So sexual energy is everywhere. I mean, you look outside of the trees, that's all sexual energy. That's creation energy. We breathe in and out. We go to bed every night and we trust that we're going to breathe through the night. That is sexual energy, creative energy. The whole world is making love to us all the time.
Anna: And when you start to recognize that all energy is sexual energy, you come to see that the whole reason why religions and patriarchal societies have really lifted. And made us feel shameful about sexuality is it's a way of social control, because if you are letting your truest essence, which is your ability to create and generate energy, if you're letting that be bound up in the church or a temple or impurity culture where like the woman can only have sex with her husband just think about it, , if you were a con man or con woman and your goal was to control the society and limit creativity and limit freedom, what's the best way to do it to castrate everybody. So they don't castrate everybody physically, they castrate everybody, mentally and spiritually and energetically.
Anna: So, so many people are Castro. Yeah, energetically from their own themselves, from their own ability to be in touch with their own sexuality and their own ability to experience multi-orgasmic mums to feel orgasms on any part of their body.
Kristina: Uh, And it's such a high percentage of people still do not experience orgasm.
Kristina: Like something like over 12%. I think it's something like 12%. If I can remember it correctly, have never experienced an orgasm. Another 12% don't even know if they have, and this is women
Anna: But I think the humiliation wound has a lot to do with going back to the five primal wounds, humiliation, injustice, justice, rejection, abandonment, betrayal self-rejection and humiliation wound, especially humiliation is the one that's really going to put the brakes on your sexual energy.
Anna: So think about it like this, your sexual energy is a river that is flowing. You are not dried up. You are not damp. You are a luscious flowing river of sexual energy. All of us are, but some of us have breaks and those breaks come from the humiliation wound. They come from false beliefs. They come from self rejection, et cetera.
Anna: If you're listening to this and you recognize that you do have a lot of shame about sex or humiliation about sex. I really urge you to figure out where that's coming from. Maybe you journal about it.
Anna: Maybe you find survivors of purity culture on Tik TOK to see what other people are doing. Marisa peer. If you go to her store, Marisa peer.com/shop, she has a great meditation.
Anna: You can buy on experiencing more orgasms. And in it, she has a regression where you go back to your childhood and you basically wipe the slate clean of a lot of the belief systems that you've been given to think that your body in any way or shape is shameful and that sexual expression or sexual pleasure is shameful.
Anna: So I recommend doing that. If that resonates, I'll put it in the show notes. Yeah.
Kristina: Yeah. And ultimately, you know, we can say a lot about the patriarchy and pre purity culture here and, you know, but having not experienced it, it's obviously a bit harder, but you know, it really does have resonance and everywhere.
Kristina: And the sense of like, obviously in its most extreme form purity culture is such that a father is in charge of looking after his daughter. And if you were to go back to, again, what I was talking about, about, about women or the feminine energy, why don't I just say that actually feels a lot better to say the feminine, predominant, feminine energy in a person's body is in charge of generating Shakti in it.
Kristina: Then it's like, you literally have a guard. You have a man who is, you know, dominant masculine energy who is guarding his creation. So to speak like his partial creation of a child who is in charge. Who has the ability to generate Shakti. And then it's like, okay, one predominantly masculine energy is going to move this predominantly feminine energy, which is a totally massive creative force of Shakti.
Kristina: And we're going to move it from one man to another so that they always have a guard, you know, from
Anna: father to
Kristina: husband. Yeah. From father to husband. And that happens when we walked down the freaking aisle. Like it happens when we walk down the aisle, is that the man, the father has to then hand over the daughter to the husband.
Kristina: Like it's in a ceremony that everybody done.
Anna: Here you go.
Kristina: Yeah. This is a loaded gun. This is a totally amazing fucking source of Shakti and creative energy and we have to guard it. And yeah, we could say a lot about that, but so I wanted to talk a little bit about the practices of Neo tantra in particular ecstatic sex and ad is doing an amazing little dance right now.
Kristina: So when I first learned about. This kind of work. I, what I loved about it more than anything was that it recognized that when you could kind of get over the kind of shock value of like, oh my God, like a is going to come and touch me. And in a certain way, like this is where I first came into this understanding of Neo tantra.
Kristina: Like once you kind of got over that it really started to make sense. For one thing, you don't actually need a stranger. You don't have to go into a situation, though. There are plenty of safe, very safe situations where you have practitioners who are able to manipulate energy in their body to help facilitate you ever had one of those.
Kristina: I'm not a stranger. I've had it with my husband do it. Oh. But have you, yes. All right. Let me explain it. And then I want you to tell your story. So the idea being that within our genitals. Which is really just the base of our energy system, where Kundalini sits because the, obviously our sex sits right next to the base shop or the root chakra, which is where the source of our energy is.
Kristina: A lot of us have shame and conditioning and all sorts of stuff sitting there. And it's being stored in our genitalia, right? Like their orgasm is there to release tension. It's a practice. Like if you were just to think of orgasm, strictly as a spiritual thing, it is literally there to untie and transmute, stuck energy and stuck emotions and stuck conditioning and all that kind of stuff.
Kristina: That is what an orgasm does. That is why it's so fucking magical. Which we'll talk about here in a second, but like, if you have your orgasm, which is your transformational tool, Sitting right there, right next to your Kundalini energy, like right next to that source of Shakti and the orgasm itself is releasing Shakti into the environment.
Kristina: It's a perfect fucking design for using orgasm and using your genitalia and sex to be able to do your shadow work, because all of your shit, so much of your survival stuff. And so much of this stuff is just sitting right there. And as soon as you release it, that Kundalini is free to go up. Like you still can do the work.
Kristina: And the other Shakur is because, for us, we say that the genitalia, but, you can do this shadow work and pull sexual energy into any of your shockers to help clean them. But the idea being that they're all sitting right there. And so, these tantric practices will, you know, will.
Kristina: For instance a dominant feminine energy, if they were to receive it, they could have a practitioner who is a man generate and direct their phallus energy, right? So their energy, their sexual male energy into their finger instead of into their actual phallus.
Kristina: Right? And then the finger becomes magnetized to this particular energy. And what happens is that you can be touched in certain ways on your genitalia, that will trigger responses because you're effectively Crete completing a magnet. You're completing a circuit by having the male and the feminine right next to each other.
Kristina: And you can unlock all sorts of things that are just sitting there. So a lot of times you can do it with your G-spot, even if you're, you know, if you're going there, G-spot anywhere around like the feminine genitalia, you can use this energy to help unlock stuff that is just sitting right there. So, Anna, tell us about your experience.
Anna: Oh, well, there's not much to tell really, but. I had a session with a practitioner that did Yoni massage . I don't even know what he did, I was just like, oh, sure. I'll book a session. I didn't know what I was doing. And it was all just like massage and redirecting of energy below the belt, basically.
Anna: But it was very interesting in that it wasn't sexual. I know that sounds probably crazy. Not, it sounds so crazy that someone was like, massaging me in intimate places for like an hour and redirecting energy.
Anna: But I never felt predatory. Yeah. Stuff coming from him. It felt very professional and he was just moving the energy around my whole body and It was very professional. It was non-sexual. It was like, I saw him the next day and was like you know, at a restaurant was like, no big deal, wasn't it?
Anna: Didn't
Kristina: yeah, no. And that's what it is. Even when my husband did it for me, we had these amazing, this amazing couple who were very advanced in this tantra practices. And she would tell me all sorts of stories about it. And I was really interested. So she like offered a session for Luke and I to come up and talk to her and her husband and I was pregnant at the time.
Kristina: So in some ways it felt harder to do it. You know what I mean? Because I was like, I was quite pregnant at the time, but you know, she described this experience, right? And it's this experience of being present and helping your partner to kind of get through their blocks that exist in this area. And, you know, it starts with a very deliberate inviting.
Kristina: You have to feel completely safe in this environment. You have to feel as if there's going to be nobody. Who's going to walk in. You can't, you have to feel like you can completely relax. You don't have any responsibilities. You don't have to. You're completely turning off your phone. Everything is just like, you are completely safe to relax deeply in whatever way you can.
Kristina: And then you start this slow process with your partner or whoever it is. Who's facilitating it. You're starting with eye gazing, right? You're starting with like looking into each other's eyes with putting your hands on each other's hearts, completing circuits between you, to be able to like really get into this place.
Kristina: And then the person who's receiving is laying down. And maybe your partner starts by touching the tips of your fingers, right? It's like an, and you're using your voice to tell them where you want to go on your body. And there they hold the intention of saying, I'm going to. You know, I'm going, I'm here to facilitate the release of blocked energy or I'm here to facilitate the the movement of energy in my partner.
Kristina: And so it's a very slow process and it may never, you may never even touch the other person's genitalia in this process. Like it may never happen. When I did it, eventually I did get to the point where there was like Yoni touching and I started having Crius. I started laughing hysterically and then crying and then laughing hysterically and then crying.
Anna: That there's no right or wrong way to do tantra. Like if you're doing tantra with someone and you have energy releases, it could be laughter it could be crying. It could be something. You don't know what's going to come up and whatever comes up is what needs to come up and you need to be with a partner who safe and okay.
Anna: Understands
Kristina: that. Yep. Yep. And the most important thing I think in all of this, and this is something that the Crohn's the amazing crones in my life have taught me for years. Even if I still don't get it sometimes is that there is absolutely no agenda. There is no agenda in any of this, because the minute that you have an an agenda is yeah.
Kristina: There's pressure. And there's a directionality for the male to, you know, like it's masculine energy to have an agenda, right? No matter what, because that's the masculine energy is directional. Whereas the feminine energy is not. So in all sex, I would recommend this to not have an agenda at all.
Kristina: Like it's not about letting me have sex so I can have an orgasm, right? It's about, let me just be with you. And as you get older and as you get into relationships where you've been together for a long time, the more you can like actually not having to. The better, right? The better.
Anna: So can I throw in another practice you can do so another practice is great.
Anna: If you don't want to do all that warm up foreplay eye gazing stuff is just being honest. Like if you are making love a great practice to do, and tantra is, well, first of all, I want to preface all this with it's good to understand your own energy and how energy moves that might mean you. You go to Vipassana, attend Davey POS.
Anna: And of course, at the end of that, you're going to really be able to feel the directional flow of your energy and feel subtle sensations. Maybe you take a Reiki class, maybe you go on YouTube and find ways that you can open up your chakras to feel your energy flow. So I think the baseline is it'd be really good.
Anna: If you can feel the energy in your own body, that's number one. Number two would be if you're making love with someone, this is a really good practice would be that. Guide their energy elsewhere. So for example, if you're having sex take and there's a lot of heat and passion going on below the belt, you can just take your hands and guide, guide that energy through your directional intention, with your hands and your mind.
Anna: And you imagine even that you're taking their sexual energy and you're bringing it up to each of their chakras and then bring it to their heart and you can just go up, you know, over and over again, guide that energy to their heart. And when you feel like their heart is full, then you can take that energy from the groin and guide it up to the top of their head and then down their arms and down their shoulders and things like that is a great way to start taking the energy and moving it around the whole body so that they can experience a full body orgasm or.
Anna: Take that sexual energy to unblock different meridians or chakras in the body. You can also, you know, take the energy and glided down their feet, if you're doing like reverse cowboy, for example, you could take that energy and guide it down to the tips of their toes and things like that.
Anna: So intentionally and directionally with your hands and mind moving the energy throughout the body is a great practice. So that's one, a second. Great practice is to just stop in the middle of sex, just stop and relax and connect with that person with stop gyrating, stop moving, just be there, present and start breathing together.
Anna: That's another way to just move the energy flow and also make it lasts longer.
Kristina: Yup. Yup. And that's one of the things that, that a lot of the time they recommend with these practices is that multiple orgasms is not about. Multiple huge explosions. And then I'm going to have a multiple huge explosion.
Kristina: Again, that could be an outcome of it, but that's the whole point is that if you practice with something called edging, you are practicing with getting incredibly close to the experience of that explosive of orgasm without actually releasing it into the environment. And by doing that, you're able to build up the energy in your body and build up your tolerance for a greater form of energy.
Kristina: And you're able to still get that release of tension, but it can be prolonged, or, you know, you kind of keep it up to that level. Of just going on the edge of everything and then you have a little release and a little release in a real little, and it becomes this much more prolonged experience in which you know, it's not about having multiple ejaculations or it's not about having multiple things like that.
Kristina: That's not what they're talking about with this. It's about being able to use the energy in your body to pull it up into your body and then circulate it around your body so that then you can you can use it for longevity and for in vulnerability and things like that.
Anna: Go ahead. Were you gonna say, oh no.
Anna: I was going to say, you know, if you think about it, have you, I don't know if you've ever done this, but have you ever gone to the dentist and they're like, you're always brushing your teeth with your right hand. Aren't you should brush off with your left. Cause it's like, you're overly brushing in a certain way.
Anna: Or when you go and get your hair done, the lady washing your hair is like, oh, well you always wash your hair on. You know, you know, then you're like, okay, well I need to change up the way I'm going to brush my teeth with my other hand, or I'm going to switch my hands in the shower so that I'm getting different parts of my scalp, because the thing is, as we get into.
Anna: And we get into habits. It's almost like we make that circuit so strong. So it's really good to get out of your habits and do something you don't normally do, like stopping and pausing during sex, or, guiding the energy elsewhere or trying new positions and things like that. So just, you know, there's, you know, there's like everyday sex and then there's mindblowing sack, and then there's good sex.
Anna: And then there's all different kinds of sex, but, you know, try to maybe change it up so that you can get your energy to move in different directions. Yeah. Yep.
Anna: You talk a little bit more about edging?
Anna: How practicing edging with masturbation? Yes.
Kristina: Yeah, absolutely. So, it's also called cultivation and men in particular, but the idea is that with edging is. You don't necessarily have to be with your partner in order to practice edging. It's actually a very good practice to do it during masturbation.
Kristina: So, we're gonna be talking a lot about masturbation or we have an episode coming at the end of the season about masturbation. So you can hear more about this if this is not a practice that you normally undertake, especially if you're in a long-term relationship and you're just like, well, why would I do that?
Kristina: Why would I waste my, why would always my orgasm on myself when I need to do with my partner? We'll be talking a lot about that in our sex episodes and also in the masturbation episode. But the idea is that, , when you're masturbating, you can practice because you're in complete control. Well, so to speak, to allow an orgasm to happen, you can stimulate yourself to the point where you're almost at an orgasm and then.
Kristina: Or slow down or change it up or do something along those lines and a practice that a lot of men do. Especially if they're working on cultivating their sexual energy on or in order to move the energy more around their body. So that it isn't just so like, oh my God, I'm here. And this is what it is that you can men in particular can practice this edging process during masturbation.
Kristina: And it really helps a lot because what they can do is they can say, okay, I'm like at a nine and now I'm going to do deep breathing and I'm going to pull the energy, the nine energy up into my body, up into my head, up into my heart, down to my feet. I can let some of it go. Maybe if it's gotten too close things along those lines, and then you go back down to a four and then you go back up to a nine again, and then you go into a four.
Kristina: And what that does is it makes it so that you're able to, when you're in a situation with a partner you're able to shift gears. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm thinking is the practice. When you do have an orgasm and yeah, thank you. An aunt is the Egyptian symbol. It looks somewhat like a crucifix from the bottom down, but it has a loop at the top instead of a straight line.
Kristina: And the ONC is a symbol from ancient Egypt that is seen in all sorts of hieroglyphs in all sorts of Egyptian drawings in any of the pyramids or any of the artifacts from Egypt and culture. And it's meant to be the symbol of life. So the reason there's, this is postulated by drew and Velomacchi is the deck who we talk about is a channel for Toth or Hermes is that an ONC is actually instructions.
Kristina: It's a guide for how you can move your body, your energy, your sexual energy through your body in order to have long life and eternal life. So that loop up at the top. If you were to put a person into the ONC with the two arms out to the sides and the single. Went down being like the torso and the legs.
Kristina: What you'll notice is that like, if that center point where all the lines meet is the heart chakra, the energy goes up the Schumer, right? Which is the bottom it's that base part of the tank. It goes up the Schumer when you're having an orgasm which I will talk about more in detail. And then what it does is when it gets to the heart, you basically make an intention and a movement, bhanda, which is like a hold muscularly to send the energy out through the front of your body and then have it looped back into the back of your body.
Kristina: And what it does is the more you do this, you basically create this circuit that goes above your head and through your heart. And it's basically the circle that will prolong your longevity. So the idea is that there are a number of bhandas, which are holds, which move energy around your body. One of they do this a lot in Hata yoga, and they do this in tantra yoga. These bhandas are ways to hold energy in your body that would otherwise go out. So basically at the bottom of your root Shakur and at the top of your head are holes.
Kristina: If you want to think of it like that, they are energy holes that basically release the energy into the environment, right? And so these bond does, will allow you to not release the energy into the environment. So most of us who are taught or not taught most of us who naturally cultivate orgasm are never taught that we're actually releasing the energy from our body, never to be recaptured in the same way again, in our bodies.
Kristina: So the perennial. Which is the muscle between the the traditional like urethra and all the different things in a woman, as well as the is basically a PC muscle, right? In both men and women. It's that space between the anus and the the genitalia that bhanda is when you hold that energy in, what that does is that basically creates a valve that stops the energy from leaving out the bottom of your body.
Kristina: So when you have an orgasm, if you pump your PC muscle or hold it, it stops the energy from leaving the bottom of your body and it forces the energy up your spine. It allows the energy to go up your spine, as opposed to going out the bottom of your body. Then. What often happens. And I don't know if anyone else has experienced this.
Kristina: I'm just going to get real TMI here. Is that like sometimes when I haven't and like, when I have an orgasm, my feet curl in my neck,
Anna: phyto mastoid will spasm and the feet will curl it's in masters of sex. They discovered that with like, really,
Kristina: okay, well, there you go. But I also believe that's a learned, like, in some ways it's a beneficial thing because our body knows that it wants to retain the orgasm energy in its body as a form of life force.
Kristina: And so one of the key bond is that you can do at the top of your spine is pressing your chin up against your neck. Oh, when that happens. Yeah. So that pressing your chin up your against your neck cuts off the energy from leaving out the top of your head. So that's one of the that's the second. So the Maha bhanda, which is Maha means the great it's the great hold is when you hold your parental.
Kristina: You hold your chin. And then you also holds your heart chakra, which is the, basically the process of pulling in your diaphragm which is hard to do if you've had a full stomach or anything like that. So that is those three holds create the Mahabharata, which is the great hold. And by doing the great hold, when you're having an orgasm, you facilitate the energy, not leaving the bottom, coming up, hitting that second bhanda, which is right there at your heart shocker, getting, you know, you're visualizing as well as the muscular movement.
Kristina: The energy goes out, the front comes in the back and doesn't leave out the top of your. And then you're creating that circuit and then it just keeps circling
Anna: and then you become an Alibaba
Kristina: amazing thing. So the last thing we're going to talk about here is the process of orgasm magic. I'm calling it orgasm magic as opposed to sex magic, because it's about the power of orgasm to transmute and manifest.
Kristina: we have some amazing conversations with Robbie or Shelman about sex magic in particular. And one of the things that she has told us is like, Is that you have this amazing potential empower in your orgasm and whether you're male or female and or whether you're intersex or whether you're transgender, any of those things, everybody has the power in their orgasm, right?
Kristina: Because it is this massive trans mutational force that just like, it's like an atom bomb that explodes in your body, that's able to transform anything. It's also able to manifest anything. So if you're trying to manifest something, you can either do it in a solo experience as in masturbation, or you can do it with a partner in which you basically can set an intention with your partner that says, Hey, we're going to have sex right now.
Kristina: And our orgasms are going to create and feed. Us getting this offer on this house to go through. And so what you do is you basically set the intention with your partner, with yourself in preparation for sexual experience and use that to think about what you want to think about the future that you want.
Kristina: And that energy is capable of manifesting really fucking amazing shit. Yeah. I love to put it eloquently.
Anna: Yeah.
Kristina: So everyone in closing. I just want to say that I hope that you have fun with this information. I encourage you to, if this is something that really interests you to experiment with your own body and the power and potential that it has especially with these practices that we told you in the beginning, or if you're not necessarily into the kind of Neo tantra sex version of this, you can also do pranayama.
Kristina: And so I would encourage you in either case to do it to be able to do something, to recognize that you have these energy channels that you have, there's so much potential for monumental and lasting transformation in your life. I would rather have an orgasm than do some of the shadow work I've been doing recently.
Kristina: That's for sure.
Anna: Yeah. We're going to end this episode on a quote from slash off Zick and he says our biological body itself is a form of hardware that needs reprogramming through tantra, like a new spiritual software, which can release or unblock its potential.
Anna: Beautiful.